Do you dance with everyone- or only a chosen few?
Article posted on www.phillysalseros.com
Comments about what was happening on the dance floor during the Hustle days (can you see the correlation with the current Salsa craze).
In recent weeks it has been brought to my attention that on several occasions some men in our dance community pointed out to some of our ladies that they weren't good enough to dance with them.
There's nothing new here, however, I would like to point out that these events only serve to bring negativity to our community and prevent new dancers from joining us instead of offering them an invitation. Perhaps it's not always enjoyable from a "dancing" perspective to dance with a new dancer because of her skill level, however, it can always be enjoyable from a human one.
Men, have you ever noticed the way that a woman lights up on the dance floor during those few short minutes? Have you ever noticed the smile? You have a wonderful opportunity to offer encouragement, courtesy, respect and pleasure to others. This is rewarding in and of itself.
Is it too much to give something back to the dance that has given you so much?
Where would any of us be if the more experienced women had chosen not to dance with us because we didn't measure up?
How many of we men would have been able to withstand that deadly blow to our egos?
In that respect it would serve us well to learn the lesson of accommodation that the women have so eloquently taught us. As I'm sure that each of us can recall from our early experience of learning the dance, it's quite intimidating to enter into this Hustle arena especially where there are those who lack sensitivity.
There will always be plenty of opportunities to dance with the seasoned ladies and derive the pure pleasure of the dance on that level, but for now the time has come to correct our shorted sighted vision and open our eyes to the bigger picture.
Take a good look around. I believe that you may notice that our community is growing. Ask yourself this question, "Do I want to be a person who plays a vital role in causing this dance to flourish or do I just want to do what makes me feel good?"
Men, we have a choice to make and I'm asking you to step up to the plate. It's time to remove the focus from us and place it on the community at large.
In my third hustle lesson I learned what has turned out to be the most important thing that I could have learned about this dance, namely, that it's the man's responsibility to make the woman look and feel good. If you keep this in mind every time that you step onto the dance floor, you may actually derive a pleasure of a different kind.
Now, I'm not asking you to dance with beginners all night long but rather seek out perhaps one or two new dancers each week with whom you dance, offer friendly advice and encouragement, preferably, with someone who you don't know. Be inviting. In doing so you will be increasing your own circle of friends and allowing yourself to be open to new possibilities and experiences.
If you're still not willing to be accommodating, at the very least, have the courtesy to choose your words wisely and consider the feelings of others because every time that you speak harshly you have a negative impact on everyone.
I welcome anyone who would like to share his thoughts on this topic.
Sincerely, Scott Michielli
Editor's Note: I've seen this occurring presently with men and women. There seems to be a number of click's in the club scene. If you're not part of that click and ask someone that is, they would say no to you and go off and dance with someone else.